In my life I’ve been on 3 dates where the chick has walked out on me. As in, we’re in a public place, I say something, and they grab their shit and leave. I tweeted this a few weeks ago and I’m still getting people asking me what happened, so here’s the rundown to save me retelling it all the time..
Spontaneous Girl
I met this girl through MySpace after having added her about 2 hours beforehand (I love spontaneous women) and we’d hung out for about 3 hours at this point. She looked like a younger, hotter version of Marla from Fight Club, which scored her A FUCKLOAD of extra points, not that she needed them..
We ended up at Werribee Plaza (I know how to treat the ladies, amirite?) and I was going to buy a present for my aunty. I was getting this vibe from her after the first hour or so where I knew she wanted to break off a piece of Towny chocolate.. so I played up the fact that I knew this, saying “I know what’s on the table, but I’m not picking it up.” She cottoned on to what I meant and well, just left.
I continued to buy Singstar ABBA for my aunty since she’s a huge fan (truth be told I bought this more to annoy my uncle than anything else) – 5 minutes later I get a phone call and well, I ended up at her place that night.
Farm Girl
This girl was kind of alright, creative, laughed at my jokes, knew a bit about this and that. We vibed kind of ok, though she kept trying to talk over me a lot, which was annoying. She knew I liked David Bowie so she’d painted her nails in this Ziggy Stardust kind of theme which was sweet. We’d had a boozy afternoon and ended up at Old Bar in Fitzroy downing some jugs of draught, working to that point where neither of us would feel guilty for going the grope.
We were talking creative projects and she was telling me how one of her friends is a photographer and that she’d posed nude for her, saying that she “suffers for her art.”
So, Don Juan that I am, fire back “I think its everyone else that’s suffering.”
Her jaw drops.
“I cant believe you just said that. I’m leaving.”
She stands up, puts on her jacket, scarf, picks up her bags, all the time looking at me – completely incredulous. I’m pretty sure I had some kind of boyish shit eating smirk on my face. As she walks out, I say “pleasure meeting you.”
There was half a jug left, so I elect to stay and finish it, like any real man would. 10 minutes later I get an SMS saying “hmm?” and she walks back in, saying “I can’t believe you didn’t stop me.” A classic mistake. She underestimated my ability to be a cunt, which as any of my ex-girlfriends will tell you, is not a mistake you want to make.
Fast forward an hour and we’re back at my place.
Asian Psychologist
This girl, I really liked.. for her looks. She was the hottest Asian woman I’ve courted to date, and I flat out ignored a lot of her weird stupidity for a while. She was a nice girl but the only real thing we had in common was that we both thought I was funny. The other nail in the coffin is that she had an allergy to beer.
We’d been out a couple of times before. We were e-mailing back and forth one day and she sent me an e-mail saying to fuck off because I didn’t offer to put on my jet pack and fly over to her after she’d just had a fight with her parents (she was 24.) I ignored her e-mails till she’d said sorry, and then met up with her later that night.
I sat down and said “You’re a nice girl, but I don’t have time for anyone that treats me like that,.. taking out their bad mood on me.” (There’s only ever enough room in a relationship for 1 person that does that, and I always call shotgun.)
She got pretty fucked up within 5 seconds and left. We’d ordered some tea, so I sat down and drank it* (it was lemon-grass, not green, much to my chagrin.) She’d gotten on a bus, and 2 SMS’s later she’d gotten off of it.. fast forward 2 hours, we’re back at my place.
ANALYSIS
So why do they come back? is it my boyish charm? rugged good looks? or a deep seated emotional trauma that makes them long for a mans approval and validation?
I’ll go with rugged good looks!!
TOWNSEND