MySpace vs Facebook
Posted on July 16th, 2009 at 09:21 under Rants
Since I’m so topical (in the literary sense, not the creamy anti-discharge fungal infection sense) I thought I’d cover the MySpace vs Facebook debate.. or as I like to call it, My Dick vs My Brain.
In my experience, MySpace (my dick) is for looking at and then meeting attractive people you wouldn’t otherwise meet in person. Whereas Facebook (my brain) is for keeping in contact with my ugly friends (rest assured if you’re on my Facebook I’m talking about everyone except you.)
I think the objective is to haul as many MySpace hotties as possible over to your Facebook to try to create at least a 50-50 ratio of Hot-to-Not. Said hotties then think you’re normal (lol) and are more open to meeting you and possibly letting you zoom a zoom zoom in their boom boom.
Another awesome thing that MySpace also has over Facebook is music.. and that’s quite a combination – hot chicks and music. Sure, I could enjoy both of those things at a bar gig, but HELLO! It’s not like I can send a friend request to hot babes in a bar, is it?*
Back on Facebook, you arguably see just how lame people can be.. I mean, I’ve seen many a hilariously stupid MySpace page in my time (MY FAMILY R MY HEROS AND I LUV MY BEST FRIEND KATIE AND EDWARD FROM TWILIGHT) but the amount of vacuous morons on my Facebook that click “I like cuddles” and “I like snuggling in bed on a rainy day” – WHAT THE FUCK!? Its ok for these people to say that kinda shit on Facebook and have it be normal, yet for some reason its weird for me to proclaim that I’ve just fired my yogurt cannon within a 1 meter radius of a female that – much to the disbelief of my detractors – wasn’t a quadruped? Talk about bullshit double standards.
Sure, I like cuddles and snuggling too (yeah that’s right, I’m a cuddly snuggler, deal with it) but let me know when I can also say “I like having one night stands with ladies from the internet” and have it be just as acceptable. Then we’ll talk** ..we’ll talk. HARD.
I’d prefer it if people just elected what they DIDN’T like, that way if they ever piss me off (and to be honest, 99% of the people I know are a pubic hair away from doing that at any given time) I’ll know EXACTLY how to reap my revenge.
My take is that Facebook is like World of Warcraft for chicks*** instead of mining gold they’re racking up fan pages for maximum experience and respect of their fellow World of Facebook players.. “Shazza likes that guy from Twilight? So do I!” click!! – It all starts with one of their friends starting the “Fan Page Raid” – recommending it to each other, then the whole bunch of them get on board. Next thing you know they have 300 friends and are fans of 500 different bullshit girly things.. congrats, you just became a level 80 World of Facebook nerd.
CONCLUSION
MySpace wins. Why? Because I’ve ploughed more chicks directly from MySpace than Facebook. If you don’t like my reasoning, take it up with the management****
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No. 1 — July 16th, 2009 at 11:52
myspace is more teen orientated which is why u like it better for the womenz… classy as always townsend.
No. 2 — July 16th, 2009 at 12:58
thats what i love about myspace girls.. i get older.. they stay the same age
No. 3 — July 16th, 2009 at 13:34
yes they do, yes they do
No. 4 — July 16th, 2009 at 14:53
Since I’m so topical (in the literary sense, not the creamy anti-discharge fungal infection sense)
Lol. That’s not what I heard last night :P
No. 5 — July 16th, 2009 at 15:04
I’d post about what *I* heard last night but one of us has to have some godam class Dani!
No. 6 — July 19th, 2009 at 01:20
damn, i’m one of those myspace girls, aren’t i? at least i crossed over to facebook…. unlike dani!
andrew, i heard it the first night i met dani. >.<
No. 7 — July 21st, 2009 at 01:05
Q: Why will Dani never be a Ninja?
A: Because you can hear her coming from a mile away.
No. 8 — October 3rd, 2009 at 10:37
[...] alienated my friends and main source of traffic when I debated which was better, Myspace or Facebook. I ripped off The Onion and made a post about KFC and its new Krush Bars which became my main [...]