Man Ponders Peeing on Band

A Clifton Hill man who requested not to be named recently visited the Tote with people from the internet to see local band “Sailors and Swine.” Halfway through the set due to downing half a bottle of Energy Nutrient Water and a few Cascade Lights, he found himself desperately needing to pee.

Not sure of the etiquette due to previously only going to gigs of industrial bands with like-minded friends, he was unsure of if it would be inappropriate to leave the group halfway through the bands short set.

“Thats when I thought, what if I walked up and pee’d on the band? The bass player looks a bit disinterested as it is, maybe this would spice things up a bit, really get the crowd going.”

Realizing he was halfway through visualizing actually walking up and peeing on the band (ignoring the high possibility of stage fright) he envisaged being hauled off stage by security, but then pondered another outcome..

“What if the band were into it?”

He then went on to explain the potential after-gig interview with the lead singer:

“At first we thought it was weird, but we kept jamming and it was just the right vibe. It was pretty cold down that side of the Tote at the time, and the pee was pretty warm since he was holding it in for so long.. it was actually kind of refreshing. We might get him to come to our future gigs, give it kind of a old school rockabilly watersports fetish vibe.. maybe bring in a new crowd.. maybe even start a new genre.”

The hypothetical ended shortly before the band finished up, after which the man promptly went and peed. He has reportedly been focusing on not thinking about releasing bodily fluids in public in future.