Kantoku Hako

So it was probably around the time I was lying in bed recovering from an operation and watching the tv reboot of Teen Wolf that I realized my life wasnt quite going according to plan.

Despite a solid birthday gathering, substantial weight loss and the procurement of a stable job, various other things conspired to make my life.. not good enough (yeah, that old chestnut.)

But it wasnt just the formulaic and downright tedious “writing” in Teen Wolf that was getting me all squirly. As far as I’m concerned I shouldnt have the time to be downloading tv shows to “give them a go” – I should be performing some obligation like going to my girlfriends friends’ going away or something. But the problem was I didnt have a girlfriend. The girl I’d fallen deeply in love with had flown back to Japan thanks to her visa running out.

So what’s a guy to do? You can only masturbate so much before you realize it’s time to take action. Some kind of action, beyond lamenting the inability of your internet connection to stream video at a good speed. Seriously, I work with computers, I should have this shit on lock.

But what action to take? I’d already decided you cant ask a woman to move herself to a country based on a 5 month relationship. Or maybe you can.. but my cynicism and need for instant gratification (read: fear and impatience) said no.. and god knows those two parts of me have ALWAYS been great things to base life decisions on.

I called her Kantoku Hako. She was tiny and happy.

We were complete opposites.

As they wheeled me into the operating room, I asked my anaethatist what the “N” in his name stood for. He said nudist. I told him I wouldn’t put it past him.. the guy was more than a little bit cheeky. As I shuffled off of the stretcher and on to the operating table his mobile rang, the ringtone being the theme from Austin Powers. I almost started laughing, resolving just to stick in my tongue in my cheek to hold it back. Then I thought, “aren’t mobile phones supposed to be off in hospitals? we’re in the fucking operating room!” as they stuck the needle into the back of my hand and started to pump whatever sleep juice into my veins.

“Time to go to sleep” the nudist said as the nurse put an oxygen mask over my face. “Yes Andrew.. time to sleep” I thought, slowly losing the smile from the ringtone. I thought of her, one of my favorite memories.. we were lying in bed and she looked up at me and said “good night” before rolling over, so I could snuggle up behind her and spoon her to sleep. She was so sweet.