The ‘Rants’ Archive

It was a wet night and we were sitting in my car in a secluded docklands parking lot. We used to go there a lot because neither of us had a place we could take each other. The windows were completely fogged up making the car look very suspect. But the only fluids being excreted [...]

So the 7 or so months we’d spent together were some of the best of my life. Much to my surprise I had caught myself thinking about how good my life was pretty frequently. I already told you we were opposites.. but things were opposite, in me. I didn’t quite understand it. I was losing [...]

So it was probably around the time I was lying in bed recovering from an operation and watching the tv reboot of Teen Wolf that I realized my life wasnt quite going according to plan. Despite a solid birthday gathering, substantial weight loss and the procurement of a stable job, various other things conspired to [...]

So after around 6 years of online dating, I just got stood up for the first time. It took an hour out of my life, but I’m sure I’ll remember it for much longer than that. I’d exchanged some funny messages back and forth over BlackBerry (BB) messenger with this girl. I didn’t have her [...]

Claire often tells me, people don’t want to read about me having sex. They’d rather hear about the times I don’t get laid, or when I DO get laid – but its hilarious. Well, good thing this post is about a friend of mine and not me. For the sake of this piece, we’ll call [...]

I’d recently scored a new high paying job so I was in a fairly jovial mood and, of course, a jovial mood = celebratory beers. There was this girl I’d run into in a fairly random situation once before. I’d seen her picture on an online dating site and talked to her a bit.. then, [...]

Father, I have a confession. I quit my job a few months ago and I haven’t had much to do. I ran out of TV shows to watch. I’ve watched every episode of Bottom at least 6 times. On top of that, THREE WHOLE seasons of 24 (man, Season 8 Episode 22 ROCKS!) and even [...]

The movie.. “I love you, man” – I’ve seen this movie once, but the first 15 minutes caused me to send this e-mail to Claire: From: Andrew Date: Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 12:16 AM Subject: oh fuck To: Claire im 15 minutes into “i love you man” – ive never seen it before and [...]