Kein Mitleid Für Dman » Dman’s Voices

Aged Care Sex For Favors Shame

Dman — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:21:16 +0000

An inquiry has found a shockingly high number of elderly citizens in aged care are trading sex for favors and items such as cigarettes. What do you think?

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“At least I know when I’m old I’ll just be a hand shandy away from getting someone to pass the remote.”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“I find this post to be insensitive and inappropriate.. just like Towny’s pickup techniques.”

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“As somebody with 2 tabs of Viagra, a carton of Marlboro’s and a GILF fetish to work out, this is good news.”

Google Announces Wave

Dman — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 02:21:50 +0000

Google recently announced the launch of a new product titled “Wave.” What do you think?

Dani,
Conspiracy Theorist
“I’ve been saying we need a new wave for ages! I’m sick of the Mexican one.”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“It’s about time somebody brought back that flavored milk, someone order me a case of Chocolate, stat!”

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“As long as it allows me to wave at my enemies before I destroy them, I wont boycott it.”

New Wolfenstein Release Date

Dman — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 02:21:14 +0000

The new Wolfenstein game has been slated to launch on August 4th. What do you think?

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“Great, now I’ll have a bunch of teenagers asking me if MO is coming back.”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“I’m a Medic!”

Russell,
Part-Time Gold Farmer
“GO ECO!! ..right? I hope they do dust2 justice.”

Robocop Remake Announced

Dman — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 02:21:07 +0000

Classic 1987 movie Robocop is being remade by Requiem for a Dream director Darren Aronofsky and is slated for release in 2010. What do you think?

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“This is what we’ve been waiting for people!!!”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“Great, now I have to listen to Towny go on and on about ANOTHER fucking Robocop movie.”

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“When are they going to finally remake Commando and give Sully a back story?”

KFC Launch Krush Bars

Dman — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 02:21:43 +0000

Kentucky Fried Chicken have launched a new series of stores called Krush Bars that serve potato mashies and milkshakes. What do you think?

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“I’ve been telling everyone that Zinger Thickshakes would sell for years. When will Kentucky HQ finally kow tow to the rest of the brilliant ideas I’ve been mailing them?

Claire,
Professional Wench
“If there’s one thing I think when I think of chicken, its milkshakes. Well, truth be told I just think a lot about milkshakes. Delicious, Delicious Milkshakes. OM NOMNOM”

Dani,
Conspiracy Theorist
“Sure, it starts with Krush Bar, but where does it end? When they’re krushing the bones of our children, krushing them with racism! Do they only serve white milkshakes to whities at this place? Someone pass me the batphone to Today Tonight, Sandra Sully better buckle the fuck up for this one!”

If you enjoyed this post, get free updates via email or RSS!

GM Sells Hummer Brand

Dman — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:21:05 +0000

General Motors took a key step toward its downsizing recently, striking a tentative deal to sell its Hummer brand to a Chinese manufacturer. What do you think?

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“I cant promise I wont laugh when they list Erectric windows as a feature”

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“I hope they make a new Chinese Zodiac sign called Year of the Hummer. Shotgun all girls born in that year!”

Jerry,
Designated Drinker
“This is going to save us a lot of money.. I speak from experience when I say it’s A LOT cheaper to get a hummer in China.”

Safeway Becoming Woolworths

Dman — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 02:21:23 +0000

Safeway’s parent company is slowly renaming all of its stores to Woolworths. What do you think?

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“My class action lawsuit due to getting stabbed outside of so many so-called Safeways has finally reaped results.”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“Take that Aldi! Australia had better buckle the fuck up, because its going to be New England soon. Go Woolies!”

Nat
Token Ethnic
“Great, now I have to shrink ANOTHER work shirt to show off my massive chacha’s.”

Susan Boyle Loses

Dman — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:21:51 +0000

Susan Boyle recently lost the Britain’s Got Talent Final despite being a huge internet favorite. What do you think?

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“She should have worn sexier outfits, maybe something to show off her kankles.”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“At least I know when I become a 60 year old english woman with a bad hairstyle I can still have 15 minutes of fame.”

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“Who the fuck is Susan Boyle? I keep seeing her name on YouTube when I’m looking up movies of people punching babies.”

Andrew Cancels Birthday

Dman — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 06:21:50 +0000

Andrew Townsend had his birthday scheduled for the 13th of June, but canceled it due to backed up sewage in the garden. What do you think?

Jerry,
Designated Drinker
“Why not just switch the theme from Tartan to Scat? That way I wont have to buy a new outfit.”

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“Oh my fucking god, its Texas all over again, only colder.”

Claire,
Professional Wench
“Everyone knows if you’re going to Towny’s house you’re going to encounter some backed up sewage anyway, whats the big deal?”

David Carradine Found Dead

Dman — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:58:27 +0000

Famous Kung Fu and Kill Bill actor David Carradine was recently found dead in a suspected auto-erotic asphyxiation accident with his neck bound in yellow rope and his penis in black rope. What do you think?

Nick,
Amateur Nihilist
“Dude, everyone knows its black rope on neck, yellow on cock. What a fucking amateur.”

Dman,
Genre-Spanner
“Always good to see a MO fan.”

Drunk Jerry,
Puke’n'Grope Machine
“Yeah ur girlfriends got great tits man fuck.. no I didn’t touch them, what the fuck? Yeah I touched them man. My name is Jack Bauer, Counter-Pants Unit, Los Angeles.”